Weekly Gratitude #12: Late Winter Evenings

Winter is long.  Especially here in Eastern Maine.

Eastern Maine is the first part of the continuous United States to see the sunrise and sunset.

In December the sun sets shortly after my daughter gets off the school bus.

Now it is the end of January.  It is still cold and there is still snow on the ground.

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By this time of the year, our bodies have acclimated.  30F may be cold for some people.  Okay, it is probably cold for most people.  But it is sweatshirt weather in Maine.

But nature is giving up signals that we are on the downhill to Spring.  You hear the birds in the morning.

And the sun stays out just a little bit longer each day serving as nature’s reminder that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

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Weekly Gratitude #11: My Four Grandparents

Every week I like to take a moment and reflect on one thing that I am grateful for.

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This week I would like to show gratitude for my grandparents.

I cherish my memories from my Boston-Irish childhood and my grandparents all played an active roll in my memories.

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This week was the anniversary of my paternal grandfather’s death and the anniversary of the maternal grandmother’s death will occur this week and these anniversaries have put me in a reflective mood.

I was lucky enough to know all four of my grandparents.

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Each of them was a pivotal link between me and our families past.  All four of my grandparents were children of immigrants (3 from Ireland and 1 from Canada) and told me stories about my great-grandparents.  I only have a few vague recollections of the only great-grandparent who lived long to meet me.

My grandparents instilled in me a sense of where I come from.  From my grandparents, I learned to appreciate corned beef and cabbage and that food just tastes better when you fry it.  I learned that punctuality was important and that you don’t leave the door open.  I wasn’t born in a barn, after all.  I learned the importance of working hard and the meaning of money.  I also learned to be honest and was instilled with some good ‘ole Catholic guilt.

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I m grateful that I had a chance to know all four grandparents.

I am grateful that three of my grandparents lived long enough to see me as an adult.

I am grateful one of my grandparents lived long enough to see me get married and meet my daughter.

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Were you fortunate enough to know your grandparents?  Leave a comment.  I would love to hear about your grandparents.

Grandma Sullivan‘s Obituary Here

Papa Crowley’s Obituary Here

Nana Crowley’s Obituary Here

 

Weekly Gratitude #9: Focus on what can go right.

It has been a week.

We had sickness in the house.  Nothing major, just a low grade fever and a cold that seems to be going around but it still warranted a day off from school.

I also had my work computer malfunction.  It would not connect to my WiFi.  At first I blamed Spectrum but it turns out it was a Windows 10 issue.

Sorry, Spectrum!

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My company had to overnight a new computer to me.   in less than 24 hours.

I am grateful for my company’s IT department who spend hours on the phone with me trying to figure out the problem.

And to Fed Ex.  I am impressed that Fed-Ex got it about 2/3 across the country to my corner of the country

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I was able to get my computer up and running and finish my work week strong.

But while the computer was in transit, I spent many hours worrying that something was going to happen in transit.  I was stressing about not getting enough work done for our client.

And it was all for nothing.

Everything worked out okay.

I spent so much time worrying about what could go wrong when I should have been focused on what could go right.  I thought I had left that habit in my old life, but I still relapse sometime.

I don’t get too esoteric on this blog, but I will venture there today.

The spiritual gurus say that thoughts are powerful and that like attracts like.  If that is true, then why are so many of us negatives with our thoughts?

Why are we so many of us resistant to letting things work out the way they are supposed to? Or even better than they were supposed to?

Some of us have been conditioned to always expect the worst.  To keep our expectations low.  And while failures and mishaps can and will happen, I challenge everyone to ponder what would happen if we started to expect good things to happen.

At the very least, maybe you won’t feel fear and dread.  Those are such heavy emotions.

But maybe some good things will happen.

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Weekly Gratitude #4: Luckiest Girl in the World

This morning I looked out at the ocean and I felt like luckiest girl in the world.

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I can think of a million reasons why I am not the luckiest girl in the world.  I have definitely had my share of bad luck.

But this morning as I looked out at the ocean, drinking my peppermint bark iced coffee, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

Maybe it is because I am still here.   I survived.

Maybe it is because I have an awesome daughter and I enjoy all the time I spend with here.  Even if she does try to push my buttons sometimes.

Maybe it is because I live in such a beautiful place with four very distinct seasons.  I see the cycle of life every year.

Maybe it’s because of the peppermint bark iced coffee.  It is the Christmas Season after all.

For ever reason I can think of that I am unlucky, I can think of another reason for which I am lucky.  It is just about what perspective you choose to take.

 

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If you have been a longtime reader of my blog (thank you!), you would know that I used to do a weekly gratitude post on Fridays called “Good Vibrations Gratitude Friday.”  It was a fun post to write every week.  I would put in a GIF of Marky Mark. Writing the post gave me a chance to look back on my week and share the highlights.

I stopped doing those posts at the end of 2018.

It wasn’t because I stopped having gratitude.  I just shared a lot about my personal life in those posts.

I didn’t write much because I was burned out.  I went through a lot of change and a lot of healing in 2019.

When Bryon died in 2016, my life changed and I had to heal from that.  Though I will never be 100% healed from that.  Because his death had changed me and his loss will always be in my heart.

2016 will always be the worst year of my life.  (Note to the Universe or God or whoever is in charge- please don’t view this as a challenge to be accepted.  Let it ride).

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2018 was a messy and awkward year. I learned a lot about relationships, human nature and myself.

It was a year that I realized I was totally alone in my grief. Truly alone. Sure, there are people who miss Bryon. Some people miss Bryon a lot. But with all do respect, no one misses Bryon as much as I do.

It’s not rocket science, but psychology does back that up. At least the Social Readjustment Scale does.

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The Social Readjustment Scale ranks life events and rates them based on the stress impact.  Death of Spouse is the number one stresses which ranks 100 on the scale.  Divorce is the second largest stressful event and that ranks at 73 and Marital Separation ranks at 65.  Jail term (63) and Personal Injury (53) round out the top 5.  You can have more than one stressful event and those events can add up to over 100.  But death of spouse is the single most stressful event.

I am not writing these words to be hurtful to those who also miss Bryon.  I am just trying to illustrate the point that his loss was very different for me than anyone else.  Many people are respectful of that, others are not.  Some people are supportive, others are not.  Some people say wonderful things, others said horrible things.

It was a harsh realization when I realized that I was seeking support from the wrong people.  I should have leaned on my online widow tribe more than people who knew Bryon.  Even though our stories are different, we have all experienced level 100 stress.

But this year, I had to turn into myself.

I had to set some boundaries.

This has been a year of change and healing.

I am grateful that I am here.

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And I finally feel inspired to write again.

I truly try to live a life filled with Gratitude.

I thought about bringing back Good Vibrations Gratitude Friday but I decided to retire that series.

I felt like I was just making a weekly list.  Which is fine but I came to the realization that I’d rather pick one thing and delve into it.

And if I ever do feel like making a gratitude list, I can.  Because I am the CEO of this blog.

I was a little sad to start over with a new series. I had 48 Good Vibrations Gratitude Friday and I was hesitant to start over at 1 but life is about change and growth.  I can’t be afraid of change.

I shouldn’t be afraid of change. My life has had enough change over the past couple of years that I feel like I am stuck in a revolving door.

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So I hope you will join me each week and think about the things that you are grateful for.

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Good Vibrations Gratitude Friday #46

Today is Friday!  You know what that means. Time for some good vibrations gratitude.

 

I am inviting you join me on Good Vibration Gratitude Fridays!

Exciting, right?

You are probably wondering how you get in on the action.

It’s easy! If you are grateful for something, please either comment below or share a pic of what you are grateful for on Instagram with the hashtag #goodvibrationsgratitude

Also feel free to follow me on Instagram at @kerrymckim

Here are 5 things I am grateful for this week.

  1.  West Albany Fire Department

    Every year the West Albany Fire Department drives Santa and Mrs Claus around so the kids can run out and meet them.  It’s a fun tradition.

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  2. Christmas Magic

    When I was pregnant, I posted in a forum for women who were pregnant and due within the month of September 2014.  I met a local friend and we became Facebook friends and texted off and on through the years.  We never met in person.

    Until the West Albany Fire Department Santa brought us together to meet in person.  Christmas Magic exists!

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  3. A fun tradition

    Every year my daughter and I would make cookies with Bryon’s best friend and his family.  His son and my daughter are best friends as well.  This year we made gingerbread houses for their school assignment.

    I couldn’t get a picture that wasn’t blurry.  This was the clearest picture I had.

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  4. Advair

    Two weeks ago I wrote about the Pre-K plague.  Well I thought it was gone.  Then this week I did not feel well at all.  I went to the doctor and I have some sort of upper respiratory viral thing.  The doctor said she was not sure if this is a new illness or the Pre-K plague that is lingering.  But she prescribed Advair.   I am feeling better and I am grateful for that.

    Spoiler Alert: there will be no C25k update this week.  I am resting this week.  I have asthma and I know that I need to take care of this respiratory illness now.  My doctor didn’t tell me that I couldn’t run but she told me that I needed to be careful how much I pushed myself.  If it wasn’t the week before Christmas, I would have probably tried to run a little.  But I am exhausted with Christmas Prep.  I have a two week buffer zone between what when I thought couch to 5k was ending and the start of half marathon training so I have wiggle room.  If I can do week 2 of C25k sick, then I can jump into week 3 with healthy lungs.

  5. 61F on Summer Solstice

    It wasn’t quite the 74F we had on Christmas Eve in 2015 (Bryon’s Last Christmas) but 61 degrees in December is still very nice.

    And I am excited that the days will slowly start getting longer.  More time to run in the afternoon!

What are you grateful for this week?

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Good Vibrations Gratitude Friday #44

Today is Friday!  You know what that means. Time for some good vibrations gratitude.

 

I am inviting you join me on Good Vibration Gratitude Fridays!

Exciting, right?

You are probably wondering how you get in on the action.

It’s easy! If you are grateful for something, please either comment below or share a pic of what you are grateful for on Instagram with the hashtag #goodvibrationsgratitude

Also feel free to follow me on Instragram at @kerrymckim

I am getting used to this new Gutenberg editor in WordPress.  I liked it when creating my last post but it is pissing me off while writing this post.  And for the love of all that is Holy, I can’t figure out how to name my own permalink.  I had to go back to Classic Editor.  Not cool, WordPress. 

Those of you on WordPress- what do you think?  

Here are 5 things I am grateful for this week?

1. President George H.W. Bush

There is nothing I can say that hasn’t already been said by people far more distinguished than me.  I am just happy I got to experience George H.W. Bush as my president.  He represented an America that I am not sure even exists anymore.  

People can say what they want about the Bush’s and their relationship with the Clintons and the Obamas but I think it is a great reminder that we are all people.  

My heart broke for President George W. Bush during his eulogy.

And I was in awe when Senator Bob Dole took every ounce of strength he had to salute the President. 

It really is the end of an era.

2. Last Weekend in Maine

I am not going to delve too deeply into the past weekend since I wrote about it (and my unsuccessful search for my Christmas Hallmark Man) here.  But it was good to be home.

My next four things (I added a bonus) are all related to being sick. My daughter brought home a nasty cold from school and I have caught it.  Last night I went to bed at 7:30pm which is very unusual as I am usually awake until 1am or 2am. I do feel like I am on the mend but I will be taking it easy for the next week or two. 

3. Elderberry Syrup

4. Himayalan Salt Inhalor

5. Vick’s Vapor Rub

6. Sleep

What are you grateful for this week?