grateful – Running Forward…My Way

Weekly Gratitude #9: Focus on what can go right.

Published on January 10, 2020 by kerrymckimLeave a comment

It has been a week.

We had sickness in the house. Nothing major, just a low grade fever and a cold that seems to be going around but it still warranted a day off from school.

I also had my work computer malfunction. It would not connect to my WiFi. At first I blamed Spectrum but it turns out it was a Windows 10 issue.

Sorry, Spectrum!

My company had to overnight a new computer to me. in less than 24 hours.

I am grateful for my company’s IT department who spend hours on the phone with me trying to figure out the problem.

And to Fed Ex. I am impressed that Fed-Ex got it about 2/3 across the country to my corner of the country

I was able to get my computer up and running and finish my work week strong.

But while the computer was in transit, I spent many hours worrying that something was going to happen in transit. I was stressing about not getting enough work done for our client.

And it was all for nothing.

Everything worked out okay.

I spent so much time worrying about what could go wrong when I should have been focused on what could go right. I thought I had left that habit in my old life, but I still relapse sometime.

I don’t get too esoteric on this blog, but I will venture there today.

The spiritual gurus say that thoughts are powerful and that like attracts like. If that is true, then why are so many of us negatives with our thoughts?

Why are we so many of us resistant to letting things work out the way they are supposed to? Or even better than they were supposed to?

Some of us have been conditioned to always expect the worst. To keep our expectations low. And while failures and mishaps can and will happen, I challenge everyone to ponder what would happen if we started to expect good things to happen.

At the very least, maybe you won’t feel fear and dread. Those are such heavy emotions.

But maybe some good things will happen.

Weekly Gratitude #4: Luckiest Girl in the World

Published on December 6, 2019December 6, 2019 by kerrymckim3 Comments

This morning I looked out at the ocean and I felt like luckiest girl in the world.

I can think of a million reasons why I am not the luckiest girl in the world. I have definitely had my share of bad luck.

But this morning as I looked out at the ocean, drinking my peppermint bark iced coffee, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

Maybe it is because I am still here. I survived.

Maybe it is because I have an awesome daughter and I enjoy all the time I spend with here. Even if she does try to push my buttons sometimes.

Maybe it is because I live in such a beautiful place with four very distinct seasons. I see the cycle of life every year.

Maybe it’s because of the peppermint bark iced coffee. It is the Christmas Season after all.

For ever reason I can think of that I am unlucky, I can think of another reason for which I am lucky. It is just about what perspective you choose to take.

And then you were four.

Published on September 20, 2018September 20, 2018 by kerrymckim5 Comments

When you were born, you turned my world upside down. But my life was suddenly complete.

When you turned one, my world was content. Life was only going to get better.

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When you were turned two, our world was turned upside down but this time it was tragic. You were my reason for getting out of bed in the morning.

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When you were three, you were the absolute center of my world. You became my little co-pilot.

And now that you are four, I think about the rest of the world and how it will be a better place because you are in it. The world is yours and I can’t wait to watch you grow into the person you are going to be.

Good Vibrations Gratitude Friday #28

Published on July 20, 2018July 20, 2018 by kerrymckim1 Comment

Today is Friday! You survived the week!

Do you know what this means? It’s time for some Good Vibrations Gratitude!

Here are 5 things that I am grateful for this week.

Friday means Chinese Food for lunch.
It’s my own weird tradition. I must do it a lot because they know me at my local restaurant. I used to be a strictly sweet and sour chicken combo person. But I decided I needed to try new things so now I am strictly a pork lo mein and egg roll person.
Movie Date
My daughter went on a movie date with the boy she says she is going to marry.Since she is only 3 and her “fiance” is only 4, the date was chaperoned by the moms. Kind of like the Duggars except the kids are allowed to hold hands and they are allowed to hug to. Not that weird, awkward side hugging that the Duggars do.

Annnnnd…I think I just totally outed myself as someone who watches the Duggars. Oh well.

Moving on-

I am not going to lie. Part of the reason I get the large popcorn is because the picture always makes me laugh. We never finish it. She usually spills it on the floor. Along with the M&M’s.

What can I say? I am a sucker.

We saw Incredibles 2. My daughter refused to nap beforehand. She had trouble focusing on this movie. I think she was more excited about the idea of the movie than the actual movie. Oh well.
The staff at the movie theater who have to clean up after my kid.
Most of us probably take for granted clean movie theaters. So thank you!!!
Taco Tuesday with friends
A time to catch up with dear friends. and eat yummy tacos.No pics. I am sorry. What can I say? I suck this week.
Personal Growth
I value any time I get to read and write. I am working on self love and feeding my soul.I saw on Facebook that my friend Roda at Growing Self Blog had bought The Untethered Soul. That book has been sitting on my nightstand for a really long time. (My “to read” pile is ridiculous). So I decided that now would be the right time to start it.

I mean, if all the cool kids are doing it…

I decided to start it because Roda bought it. And should and of the subject matter come up in her blog, I wanted to be prepared. I didn’t want to feel like the blog reader equivalent of Elle Woods on her first day of law school.

The book reminds me of The Power of Now by Eckart Tolle where you only need to read a little at a time because the information is a lot of digest. A lot of “Wow” moments. The good news is that the chapters in The Untethered Soul are short so you can read a chapter a day if that is your speed. (It’s mine!)

What are you grateful for this week?

Good Vibrations Gratitude Friday #14

Published on March 16, 2018March 16, 2018 by kerrymckimLeave a comment

It’s Friday!

You know what that means…time for some Good Vibrations Gratitude.

These are the Top 5 things I am grateful for this week.

Daylight Savings Time
You may noticed that I have been quiet on the blog this week. The first was that after writing my two most recent blog posts (here and here), I had nothing to say. I keep wanting to say I felt emotionally drained but the term “drained” doesn’t really sum it up well. Maybe I was actually content? I got out what I needed to. If I was feeling content, I am sure it will only last for a New York Minute. Because as the week ends, I am started to feel new emotions and thoughts bubbling up. Periods were I don’t have anything to say don’t happen often and don’t last long when they happen.

My lack of writing is also due to the fact that Daylight Savings Time really screws me up. Every year. For like, a whole week. Each day I have been hitting the later class at my gym because I can’t get my act together to go to the one I normally attend.

But I am grateful for Daylight Savings Time because I love the fact that the sun is out until 7 pm.

It makes this messed up week totally worth it.
Moments of joy
I have been working on feeling the joy of living in the present moment.

And what better example of feeling the joy of living in the present moment than seeing how excited my daughter was to try on her dance recital dress? I couldn’t help but feel joy because my daughter was so happy. I can’t wait to see her dance in her first recital.
For what I do have
It is easy to think about my previous life and dwell on what I no longer have.

I decided to be grateful for what I do have. I have my daughter. I have family. I have friends who are my family. I never spend holidays alone.I have a roof over my head. I have a job. I have my health.

I have it good.
SnapChat
I have had SnapChat for about a year and a half but never used it. I downloaded it shortly after Bryon died. I was at a friends birthday party and everyone was showing me how to use it. I signed up, got some friends and never used it.

Kimmy Gibbler told me I need to use it when we were at brunch a few weeks back. So I have been on it. I admit, I love all the filters.

Lately I have been turning inward a little bit. I haven’t been on Facebook as much. Partly because it was hard to see everyone living their perfect lives with their alive spouses. (And yes, get no one’s life is perfect but once in awhile I have bad days where I would take my worst day with Bryon over my widowed life.)

I also needed to turn inward because I needed to set some boundaries with my social media presence. I know I am very open about my grief process on the blog and on social media. And that won’t change. I do this to help other people- those who are also grieving as well as those who want to better understand the grieving process.

But there are some people who think that they somehow have a say in my life and are entitled to know things about me that are none of their business. Just because I share my grief journey does not make my whole life public property. So I have been quieter on social media.

I have been enjoying SnapChat because I can still socialize and take pictures but I can choose who receives it. It’s been the same 5-10 people because I am an elitist like that. (Just kidding!)

My friends send me videos of their golden retriever and I send videos back to them of my daughter. It’s a fun time.
A kickass week at the gym.
I got bronchitis in December and felt like I hadn’t rebounded. But I feel like I had good workouts this week and that I am back on track.