Farewell 2018: Leaving the negativity behind

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2016 was the worst year of my life.

It will always be.

Only one thing could happen to me that could top that but I am not going to entertain that thought.

2017 was a fog.  I was surviving.

2018 was the year that I need to stop surviving and start to live again.

When 2018 started, I had a feeling that things were going to be very different by the end of the year.

I was right.

(Funny how that happens…)

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Was 2018 a bad year for me?

Yes and no.

There was a lot of death.  I lost my grandmother and two friends.

The year was full of hard lessons.

I had to learn that people and things are not always what they purport themselves to be.

I had to learn that I need to look for internal rewards and not to look externally.

I had to learn to release and let go.

I had to learn to live again and make decisions on the direction of my life.

I had shit thrown at me.

But I survived it.  And I am smarter for it.

I learned what was really important.

Seriously, I am 40-year-old woman, who has been to Hell and back and I have a small child dependent on me.  It was time for me to focus on what was important.

Last year I didn’t write much in December.  I was beginning to think this year was going to be the same.  However, I think over the next couple of weeks, as part of the releasing process, I am going to write posts about what I am leaving behind in 2018.

Kind of like a farewell rock tour but less cooler.  A lot less cooler.

I am going to take all the negativity that was thrown my way, put it on an imaginary Viking funeral Ship, light it on fire (again, imaginary.  I don’t want to blamed for starting any fires.) and send it off.

If you have anything you need to release before we begin 2019, I invite you to put them on the imaginary Viking funeral ship.

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Fall Fun 2018: Liberty Ridge Farm

Last Friday I got the chance to spend the day at Liberty Ridge Farm in Schaghticoke, NY.

My daughter’s Pre-K class was having a field trip there. We were lucky to have beautiful weather.

Best selfie ever.

Lots of playtime.

This gal here taught my daughter not to put her fingers inside the fence.

Waiting for the pig races.

GO HOGZILLA!!!

Or were we cheering for “Pork chop”…?

I had planned to stop at Mr. Subb in the morning. I thought it opened at 9 am but it turned out it opened at 9:30 and that was too late.

I was (and still am) sick so I needed a tea. We stopped at Starbucks and I let her pick out a box lunch. Of course I ended up being an expensive lunch. But my daughter enjoyed her lunch so I guess that is all that matters. 🤷‍♀️

I wasn’t trying to be boujee. I promise.

The corn house was a hit.

So much that some of the corn made it home.

Fun with her best friend.

And at the end of a day, we got a pumpkin. Actually children and parents each got one but my daughter claimed both.

It was a great day.

I lied to you

A few weeks ago I said that I started writing a book and that that would not be affecting this blog.  I meant it when I wrote it.  So maybe it wasn’t actually a lie.

But I found that by keeping up this blog, I am too drained to write my book.

I also have felt uninspired when writing this blog.  It has become routine and it has felt like a chore.  Not that writing isn’t work but I feel like I haven’t been putting my heart into my posts.  And it has shown because my blog hasn’t been growing.  A big problem is that I stopped writing for me.

I feel like my writing and it’s creativity on this blog has plateaued.  And the frustration has been draining my energy.

I have several projects in the works this summer and I need my energy for these projects.  I will still be writing in this blog but it is only going to be when I feel inspired, whether it is once a week or four times a week.

I also need this summer to decide what direction I want my writing to go.  My grief isn’t as turbulent anymore.  Moving forward with my life doesn’t seem to interest people as much a roller coaster emotions.  But I have had enough drama in my life. I am not going to manufacture it to create an interesting blog.

So this isn’t a breakup.  Just an “I need space” moment combined with a “It’s not you, it’s me” moment.  I look forward to being back when I am inspired and I will be checking in.

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Field trip to the farm

A few weeks ago, my daughters preschool class went on a field trip to a local farm for “Baby Animal Days.”  The kids got a chance to pet the baby animals.  It was a very cold and rainy afternoon but the weather did not ruin the fun.

Here are some pictures from the memorable afternoon.  Do you live on a farm?  If not, have you ever visited one?

Good Vibrations Gratitude Friday #21

It’s Friday!

We know what that means!  Time for some Good Vibrations Gratitude!

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  1. My readers

    My last post was my 200th post.  Thank you for reading and for all your support!

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  2. Warm weather

    While it seems that we have gone straight from winter to summer, I will take it.

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  3. A rainy but memorable day.

    My daughter had her first field trip at a local farm.  It was a great day, despite the rain.  I was going to write more, but I think the event deserves its own post.  But here is a preview.

  4. Surviving wasps and ticks

    Along with the warmer weather, we have been getting visits from unwanted guests.

    My daughter had her first tick bite last night.  I saw it in the morning.  Now I know I must check her every night.  I have never had a tick bite myself so I have never worried about it.  Luckily I was able to get it all out with tweezers and we went to the pediatrician just in case.  So I will keep an eye on it for a rash.

    We also had a few hibernating queen paper wasps in the house.  That freaked me out.  I am not a fan of bugs.  Killing bugs was Bryon’s job but now it is mine.

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    Sorry,  I couldn’t resist.  I laugh each and every time I saw that on my Facebook newsfeed.  Though this was in a different context.  Probably in the intended context.

    Anyway, the day after I discovered the wasps was my routine treatment from the exterminator.  Luckily Mr. Exterminator was very nice.  He didn’t mind me staring at him adoringly because at that moment, he was my knight in shining armor.  He even located a wasps nest on my garage and got rid of it.

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  5. Everyone who has worked hard on the second annual Bryon C. McKim Derby Party

    Saturday will be the second annual Bryon C. McKim Derby Party.  I am thankful for everyone who donated their goods and their time toward this event.  We raise money for my daughter’s education trust and toward the establishment of scholarships to be set up in Bryon’s memory at Siena College and Albany Law School.  If you are in the Albany area, we hope to see you.

    Tickets can be purchased here or you can buy them at the door.

 

What are you thankful for this week?

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Happy Birthday Grandma

I was working on another post but this one is more fitting.  Especially for my 200th post.

Happy Birthday Grandma!

Running Forward...My Way

I remember one summer day in the mid 1980s when I was in my grandmother’s backyard.  I was about 7 (and therefore my grandmother was about 73) and I was excited because my birthday was coming up.  I asked my grandmother what was her most favorite thing about birthdays and she responds “when it’s over.”  I couldn’t understand why someone would want their birthday to be over.

Catherine Ann Donahue Sullivan was born May 3, 1914 in Woburn, MA. She was the 6th child and 2nd daughter of two Irish Immigrants, Peter Donahue and Mary Duran. She attended Woburn Public Schools (she told me that Catholic School cost 50 cents per child, per week and my great-grandparents were too poor to send 9 children to parochial school). She went to nursing school during the Depression (total cost of nursing education in 1930’s including cap=$75. Total cost of Kerry’s Psychology book…

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Good Vibrations Gratitude Friday #19

It’s Friday!

You know what that means.

Good Vibrations Gratitude Friday.

Here are the 5 things I am thankful for this week.

1. Being busy

I am writing on my phone while travelling. The WordPress app always messes up my formatting so I apologize for that. I also apologize for the lack of posts and the brevity of them. I had a three day turnaround between Philly and Boston. Well, Boston-ish.

I am thankful for the excitement in my life.

2. Weekend in Philly.

Last weekend I went to Philly with the girls for friend bachelorette party. I am thankful for be a part of it and that my parents watched my daughter so I could be a part of it.

Philly post coming.

3. Boston with my cousins.

My cousin is up from Florida and I took a few days off to spend time with them.

Boston(ish) post coming.

4. Living near history

I love that I live so close to cities with so much history.

5. My bestie!!!

My best friend had her birthday yesterday and I am so thankful to have her in my life.

What are you thankful for this week.