albany – Running Forward…My Way

Good Vibrations Gratitude Friday #25

Published on June 29, 2018June 29, 2018 by kerrymckimLeave a comment

Today is Friday! You survived the week!

Do you know what this means? It’s time for some Good Vibrations Gratitude!

These are the 5 things I am grateful for this week-

A Day at the Farm
Last Saturday my daughter and I spent the day at a nearby farm in the Berkshires. It was lots of fun and I like to support area farmers.
Running Water
On Sunday night I went to give my daughter a bath and there was no water. I check the internet and there were no posts by the town. I went outside and my neighbors were in the yard and they knew of a broken water main. The water was back by the morning and this ordeal made me appreciate our town water supply.
Progress on my Book
I haven’t been writing my book as fast as I had hoped but that is okay. I would rather do it well. I am cognizant that I do not want it just be the blog in book form so I am working on writing new, original content. The chapter I just finished- it’s good.
EMT’s and all First Responders
This week one of the Common Councilors, Judy Doesschate publicly blasted some EMT’s who had double parked. She took pictures of the ambulances and the actual EMT workers and posted them on Facebook. Needless to say, she got raked through the coals. Yes, there is traffic but the EMT’s need to have access to their ambulances and be able to rush to an emergency at a moments notice.

She should have thanked them for their service instead. She still hasn’t apologized. Well, a real apology. All of her public apologies have been along the vein of “I am sorry everyone got mad.” Seriously Judy, my three-year-old does a better job at apologizing.

I am grateful for our EMTs who save lives.
This Moment- Sweet Summertime
My daughter spent a good portion of the evening playing with her water table. She was loving it.

She kept trying to convince to keep adding water. It was giving me flashback to my childhood. For awhile, we had a three foot above ground pool that ultimately came down and left a big, round sand pit. My brother and I would spend all day filling pails with sand, packing it down and then flipping them over to make sand pail buildings. We would make a big sand pail building town.

Then, inspired by the 1980’s Captain Crunch commercials, my brother would grab the garden house, turn on the water and say “The Soggies are coming!”

I would plead for him to stop by saying “Don’t! Mom’s gonna get mad.”

But that wouldn’t deter my brother. He’s lay the hose down and the Soggies (a.k.a. water) would take over and destroy our sand pail town.

And every single time, the “fun” would end with my mother coming out and yelling at my brother.

To be fair, our town often would have water conservation efforts where you were only supposed to use your water on even or odd calendar days based on your address. (For example, our house number was 53 so we were only supposed to use our outdoor water on odd numbered days.)

What are you grateful for this week?

The first dance recital

Published on June 18, 2018June 19, 2018 by kerrymckim14 Comments

Last Saturday was a big day in the McKim house.

It was the day of my daughter’s first dance recital.

This was her first year of dance. She was in a ballet and tap combination class for 3 and 4-year-olds.

I know as a rookie dance mom, I found the whole experience a little overwhelming but my daughter handled it like a pro. On top of skipping her nap.

She played the role of “Little Miss Sassy” so well.

This age is still a little unpredictable. Age 3 is young to be on stage. I was worried that she would get scared but she made it on stage.

And she rocked her dance.

I asked her what she thought about being on stage and she told me that she liked it. The stage was a big stage at The Egg Performing Arts Center in downtown Albany. I asked her if she saw lights or people and she said she saw both.

This day was very emotional for me because it was her first recital and Bryon wasn’t here to see it. When she was a baby, Bryon and I talked about how we were going to put her in dance class and that she would be in a recital. It is bittersweet to see her grow and reach milestones and not have Bryon there. We may be coming up on two years since he died but his absence is still profound. But she is going to have a lifetime of firsts and milestones and I am just going to have to get used to the emptiness that accompanies those events.

It didn’t help that it was also Father’s Day weekend. I was in a bad mood (with my daughter’s father being dead and all) but my parents made it for the recital. My daughter loves her grandparents so much and we were lucky they got to see her.

Second Annual Bryon C McKim Memorial Derby Party

Published on May 7, 2018 by kerrymckim1 Comment

Thank you for everyone who worked hard to make this event a success!

Thank you to everyone who came out to attend the event. I appreciate the love and support for my daughters future. It means so much to me that you came to keep Bryon’s memory alive.

We hope to see you next year!

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Good Vibrations Gratitude Friday #20

Published on April 27, 2018April 30, 2018 by kerrymckimLeave a comment

It’s Friday!

You know what means- time for some Good Vibrations Gratitude!

Here are the 5 things I am grateful for this week:

Seeing H-bomb
I don’t really remember life without my cousin H-bomb. My earliest memory of her was in my Nana’s kitchen. I had to have been around my daughter’s age (3 and a half. Can’t forget that half.) My Nana was feeding H-bomb, who was sitting in a high chair. I want to say that the Price is Right was playing on a black and white TV but I could be wrong. If it wasn’t on, it should have been.

Crowley Cousins- Easter 1982- Woburn, MA (H-bomb’s siblings would arrive in 1983 and 1985)

H-bomb has pretty much seen me through all stages of life- hyper kid, awkward middle schooler, high schooler, college kid, singleton, politico, wife, mother, widow and…whatever weird stage I am in now. And she has been my best friend through it all.

September 29, 2012- Albany, NY Photo credit: Heidi Benjamin Photography
Going to the House of Seven Gables
As I said in my last post about my trip to Boston, I finally got to go to the House of Seven Gables. I had wanted to go about 20 years ago but no one wanted to go with me. I was excited that H-bomb and the gang were going.We kept joking that all my dreams from 20 year ago were finally coming true. I don’t know if the spirit of my younger self comes alive more when I am around H-bomb or if I am more in touch with it due to all my self-reflection over the past year and a half.

I am also thankful I am getting this period of time to examine and reflect on my life and choose to live my life more deliberately.
My future son-in-law’s birthday
Okay, I don’t know if this boy will be my son-in-law someday. It started as a joke. This little boy is the son of Bryon’s best friend. He is 5 months older than my daughter and it has always been the joke that they will get married someday.The other day we (my daughter, my future son-in-law, his mom-and one of my besties, her younger son and I) were walking out of daycare. My daughter and my future son-in-law are ahead of us and there is a random lady there.

April 2017

Future son-in-law (to random lady): I am going to marry her.
His mom/my bestie, me, and everyone within earshot: Awwwwww!
Random lady: Can I come?
My daughter: No.

We need to work on being more gracious and tactful.

This past weekend was my future son-in-law’s 4th birthday and we went to his school party at the trampoline place.

On Tuesday night (the night before his actual birthday) we all saw Disney Jr Dance Party at the historic Palace Theater. Ironically I only got pics with my daughter and the birthday boys little brother. Ooops.

Whether the kids end up marrying each other or not, it is an amazing experience to watch them grow up together and see their friendship grow.
Spending time with my friend Gentel/Corks and Forks Event
Last weekend I got to see my friend Gentel (she blogs here). Gentel and her boyfriend were in Albany for the weekend and invited me to attend the Corks and Forks fundraiser to raise awareness for Huntington’s Disease. I didn’t know much about Huntington’s Disease. You can read more about the disease here.It was a great event. And it was great to spend time with Gentel and her boyfriend.

I hope to see them sometime soon.
Everyone in my life
I know this is a broad one but I am thankful for everyone in my life.For everyone who is there for me and my daughter.

For everyone who messages me and checks up on me if they think I am sad.

For everyone who has offered to help me.

For everyone who listens to me. And for everyone that shares their stories with me.

For everyone who encourages me.

For everyone who sends me funny texts and SnapChats.

For everyone who helps me create happy memories.

I think about close friends, new friends, old friends, school friends, work friends, political friends, widow friends, internet friends, Maine friends, New York friends and former friends.

I truly believe that everyone has been in my life for a reason. I am thankful for all the love, light and laughter in my life. I am also choosing to be thankful for all those who have caused pain. Because that pain has helped shape my character and taught me the importance of treating people better.

I am thankful for all those who have played a role in my life.

What are you thankful for this week?

Good Vibrations Gratitude Friday #16

Published on March 30, 2018March 30, 2018 by kerrymckim2 Comments

It’s Friday!

You know what that means! Time for some Good Vibrations Gratitude!

These are the 5 things I am grateful for this week.

Seeing my bestie
Last weekend my daughter and traveled to Chicago to see my best friend. We also took a side trip to Wisconsin. Travel post will be coming.

It was great to see my friend. We met at the Young Republican Leadership Conference in Washington, DC in 2006. She was sitting in front of me on the bus ride back to the hotel from the Romanian Embassy.

We wouldn’t become close until later that year.

We both pretty much have retired from politics but we usually try to see each other once or twice a year.

It’s always great to see each other and catch up.

Wisconsin Road Trip, 2018

2. Lunch with “Uncle Greg”

On our return trip from Wisconsin, we stopped to visit a close friend of mine. Greg was one of Bryon’s best friends and he has been so good to our daughter. You can see his kindness demonstrated below as he gave the girls their own cheesehead hats.

(I don’t usually use people’s names but I can’t think of a proper blog name for Greg. Though I am sure Bryon would have suggested a few inappropriate ones).

Pro-Tip when visiting Wisconsin: make sure you leave some space in your luggage because those cheesehead hats take up a lot of room. Though I guess she could have worn it on the plane…

20180324_132026 — “Uncle Greg” and the mini-cheeseheads

We had an amazing lunch complete with Wisconsin cheese curds.

20180324_141508 — The Old Fashioned, Madison, WI. 2018.

I also got to meet Uncle Greg’s new girlfriend.

I don’t give my stamp of approval to just anyone. I am not Marshall Erickson.

But I am happy to say that Uncle Greg’s new girlfriend has my stamp of approval. I can’t wait for him to bring her to Albany so everyone can meet her.

3. Making it home in time for our favorite community helper’s birthday

We made it back in time on Monday for a special birthday. Another one of Maddy’s “uncles”, who I refer to as “our favorite community helper”, was celebrating his birthday. I took my daughter out for dinner and our favorite community helper and his fiancee (a.k.a. Carter’s parents) met up with us. I didn’t get a picture with our favorite community helper, but here is a picture of my daughter being silly. I was tired and probably not the best company, but these two are family to me and it was important to see our favorite community helper on his birthday.

4. A night at the museum

This week was the opening of Canstruction. A good friend (I will call her “the architect”) has done this event for 8 years. Canstruction collects cans and other non-perishable food and builds structures to raise money for food banks in the region.

I am so proud of my friend.

On Wednesday, there was a reception that I was lucky enough to attend.

The event took place at the New York State Museum on Empire Plaza.

There was a taco bar.

There was toasting with friends.

My speech got a standing ovation.

We’ll just ignore the fact that Kimmy Gibbler was the only one listening…

I didn’t get any carousel pics but we rode on it and it was awesome.

Here are a few pictures of some of the structures.

5. Surviving

Two years ago yesterday was when my life completely fell apart.

I am still here.

I survived and I am grateful.

What are you grateful for this week?

Good Vibrations Gratitude Friday #15

Published on March 23, 2018March 22, 2018 by kerrymckim3 Comments

Brunch and Pottery PlaceOur weekend started with Saturday Brunch with friends. My daughter and I dressed as the Irish-American Princesses that we are.

It was Kimmy Gibbler‘s son’s birthday this week so we gave him his present.

After brunch we went to a local pottery place and painted. My daughters pig is looking a little bruised there.
A night outLater Saturday evening, we went went for another friend’s birthday. We did some hibachi. I didn’t get any fire photos because I was too busy snapchatting them. The little one stayed home with a sitter while Mommy had some fun.

After hibachi, we went to a local place for some karaoke.

I still maintain this position.
Day with cousinsSunday morning, my daughter and I traveled to the North Hadley Sugar Shack in North Hadley, Massachusetts to spend the day with my cousin and her two kids. My cousin and I try to meet in Springfield, MA because that is the approximate halfway point between us.

We got to sample some wicked good syrup.

There were other samples too.

And there was breakfast. This was a double order of bacon because kids meals at most places usually only include 1 piece of bacon which my daughter eats and then she will move on to mine. So I tend to order double. Though this morning, she didn’t touch any of mine. More for me, I guess.

My cousin and I decided to head over the Eric Carle Museum of Picture Book Art. We had a good time but if you are travelling from Eastern, MA or Upstate NY, I wouldn’t plan a whole day trip out of it. I also would recommend it for school age kids. There wasn’t a lot for preschoolers to do. Not enough to occupy them for a whole day. It wasn’t like our trip to the Dr. Seuss Museum.

My daughter and I took this selfie. Be kind. I was out late and up early and it was definitely a dry shampoo and minimal makeup kind of morning.
Reunited in ChicagoI am writing this post ahead of time and by the time it goes live, I will be reunited with my bestie in Chicago!
A special birthdayToday is the birthday of my “sister from another mister” and my daughters Godmother. I know that her birthday is bittersweet because it is also the day that everything changed forever.I actually met her before I met Bryon. We first met at the Fall 2005 Young Republican National Federation Board Meeting in Little Rock, Arkansas. She taught a workshop that I attended on talking to a camera.I never could have known that she would end up being such an important person in my life.She was there with many others on the happiest day of my life and she was the only person with me on the saddest night of my life.The truth is that she deserves her own post but I feel like I can’t accurately write a post about her without sharing information that I am not ready to share yet. And without the whole story, I am not doing the story of our friendship justice.
I want to write more but WordPress seems to be deleting what I am writing as I am writing it. And I am too tired to figure it out.

Happy Birthday! We love you!

Good Vibrations Gratitude Friday #10

Published on February 16, 2018February 16, 2018 by kerrymckim1 Comment

It’s FRIDAY!!!!!

That means it’s time for some Good Vibrations Gratitude.

These are the five things I am grateful for this week.

Brunch with friends
I like brunch. But I like doing it the Mom way meaning we get there right when brunch starts, usually around 10. It’s a good time. The kids are ready to eat and it’s before the hipsters show up.

I also like that I get to brunch my way now. I prefer brunch is establishments that are not diners. Bryon loved diners and I am not a fan. I feel like diner food is not any better than the food I cook. I like to go to brunch and have something fancy that I could cook but generally don’t have the patience to.

Plus, I don’t like diners because many of them are small and I am claustrophobic. Now I know many other establishments are small. But I can deal with my claustrophobia for fancy brunch. Like, I can tolerate being in a small space but not for generic food that I could make at home.

Bryon was always more of the breakfast fan than me so he would win. That and because the issue wasn’t important enough to me. I am glad I went along with it because diner breakfast always made him happy.

I guess of the “perks” of widowhood is I get to do whatever I want. It’s bittersweet, really.

And Kimmy Gibbler has the same attitude about brunch so we had brunch at a local place called Savoy Taproom.

I had the adult ice coffee with aquafaba and creme brulee French Toast. I had no clue what aquafaba was but the waitress explained it to me. It’s apparently a vegan alternatives to egg whites and apparently putting egg whites into iced coffee is a thing now. The egg whites create the froth. I tried it but I made it clear to the waitress that I was not a vegan. For some reason, I felt that that was important and that the waitress wanted to know.

I always considered myself an iced coffee snob and I had no clue. *shrug*
Advocating for MS
For the second year I got the honor of advocating for people living with Multiple Sclerosis at the New York State Capital. I am not going to elaborate on that because I will be writing a post about that. I have several friends with MS and I am thankful that I get an opportunity to advocate for them.
Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
Because…duh
Signs from Heaven
I know I spoke of Bryon’s Valentine’s Day sign that came in the form of Vagisil.

But I have heard that the deceased communicate through songs on the radio. There are certain songs I hear all the time since Bryon died. There was even a period of time I heard Hall & Oates at least once a day and I don’t spend much time in my car. My deceased husband also seems to really like Michael Jackson, particularly “Billie Jean”, The Police- “I’ll Be Watching You”, Earth Wind and Fire; “September” (I think that is because we got engaged, married and became parents in the month of September), and Berlin’s “Take My Breathe Away” because Top Gun was his favorite movie.

I haven’t heard much in the car for the past couple of months. I just figured that Bryon was done sending those signs. He was going to find a new way to communicate with me. But the past three days have been a Bryon McKim jam session every time I have been in car. It’s nice to know that he hasn’t forgotten about me and will still try to spend time with me in the only way he can now.
Having the courage to cut off my grief hair
I had been wanting a change for awhile. I hemmed and hawed over it for months. I liked my hair long but it was so damaged. The ends felt like straw. I also wanted something different and I have never been a blonde so I went for it. I am a new person so my outside should reflect my inside.

This was a big step for me. I have never been a risk taker but I told myself that it is just hair. It grows back. It can be changed back. But it was also hard because I was attached to that hair. I have hid behind that hair for almost two years. But I decided it was time to get rid of it and shine.

Now I just need to lose some weight and maybe get a tattoo and my physical transformation will be complete.

What are you grateful for this week?

Happy second birthday in Heaven

Published on August 28, 2017August 28, 2017 by kerrymckim3 Comments

Today was Bryon’s second birthday in Heaven. You might have read my blog yesterday when I wrote about how it was one year since the funeral and you must be confused as to why I am writing about his birthday. It’s true. His funeral was a day before his birthday. I had to experience a painful first the very next day after the funeral. And the firsts just kept coming. My birthday is in two days, my daughters is next month and our wedding anniversary is at the end of September. This corner of the year will probably always be the roughest five weeks of the year for me.

It seems so unreal that we are celebrating Bryon’s second birthday in Heaven. At times, I am still stunned that this all happened. But I decided that last week that the anniversary of his death will be the sad day. His birthday will be a happy day. So I decided to have a party for our friends to get together and share stories. Instead of dwelling on Bryon’s death, it was time to celebrate that he had lived.

Last year, the day after his funeral, a few of us had dinner at hibachi because that is what we had done for his last living birthday. I was thinking of doing that again but I wanted to include more people and it would be hard to have a lot of people at a hibachi table.

I decided that I wanted to release balloons at the cemetery and then have funfetti cheesecake at my house. I wanted to buy a whole cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory. Bryon would have loved that. He loved funfetti cake and cheesecake. It would be perfect. But my friend called the local Cheesecake Factory, they said they couldn’t sell whole funfetti cheesecakes. But that’s okay. I found a recipe online that worked well.

A few of my friends met at the cemetery. One of our friends brought a pennant from Siena College to decorate the grave. The same friend read the prayer of St. Francis which worked well because I did not prepare anything to be said. St. Francis was Bryon’s favorite Saint so he would approve.

My daughter and I brought a bundle of balloons to release. I was very impressed with my daughter. She is not yet three but she understood that the balloons were going to be released and sent to Heaven for Bryon. I was worried that she wasn’t going to understand the concept and that she would get upset but she let the balloons go and seemed happy that they were going to Heaven.

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After the cemetery, we went back to my house for pizza, funfetti cheesecake and stories. There also may have been some Moxie tasting. Kimmy Gibber did not like it.

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This might be the start of a new tradition. Maybe it won’t. But for the time being, it is comforting to know that I have a group of friends who are like family who want to remember Bryon’s life. And I hold my Albany family close to my heart.

The time my friends ate grasshoppers

Published on August 18, 2017August 18, 2017 by kerrymckim7 Comments

Warning- Stop reading Mom! I know you read everything I write, but do not read this story. (She has major bug phobia).

So tonight two of my good friends came over to help me around the house to to help me prepare for my new couch which arrives in the morning. The three of us love Mexican food and we planned on ordering Mexican food for dinner.

I opened the food ordering app because I prefer to order my food online. Because I hate talking to people on the phone that much.

I do not see our normal go-to restaurant listed. So we decided to try a new Mexican restaurant. I quickly google the name and I learn that it is a restaurant that specializes in authentic cuisine from the Oaxaca region in Southern Mexico. I said we should be adventurous. The worst thing that could happen was that the food wouldn’t be good and we would have to get food from somewhere else.

We decided to give it a try.

I look at the menu and made a comment about the fact that they had cow tongue.

One of my friends decided on a grasshopper burrito. The description seemed palatable and it said there was a choice of meat. My friend wanted chicken.

My other friend decided she wanted to order the same thing.

I looked the menu over and became overwhelmed so I ordered chicken tacos and an order of chips, guacamole and salsa.

When the food arrived, we were starving and ready to eat. I pull out the two burritos. My daughter said she wanted one and I said that they belonged to our friends. I gave my daughter some guacamole and chips and one of my chicken tacos. We all dig in and we talk about how good the food was.

Everything was great.

Then one of my friends jumps and says that her burrito actually has grasshoppers in it because one just fell out. My other friend was about five bites into her grasshopper burrito and she stops eating. I was eating chicken tacos but I lose my appetite in solidarity. The only one who continues to eat without being phased is my daughter.

“Grasshopper Burrito” wasn’t just a cute name.

We contemplated what to do. Do we call the restaurant and try to get something else? My friends felt bad because I put the whole order on my card. I assured them that this was such a good story that it was worth every penny.

Seriously, I have been bummed lately. I haven’t laughed this hard in a very long time. This might have been the hardest I laughed since before Bryon got sick.

My friends decided to just order a pizza instead. With no meat. And orange soda. Sunkist. Though the person on the phone called it Outcast soda. Hey ya!

The burritos went into the trash. My friend brought the trash outside which was good because I was having images of the grasshoppers coming back to life in my house.

My poor friend got the creepy crawlies.

You can’t really tell by the picture but in person, you could totally see the grasshopper legs.

A quick google search does reveal that grasshoppers are actually part of the diet in Mexico’s Oaxaca region. They are called Chapulines. So this cuisine is authentic.

Just a bit too authentic for us.

Little moments

Published on August 13, 2017 by kerrymckim3 Comments

This weekend I did the first of my long runs for my half marathon training. My training cycle has gotten off to a slow but steady start. I have joined a new gym called Metabolic Meltdown and I do those workouts on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays and I run on Tuesday, Thursdays and Sundays. I was having trouble motivating myself by just running and I need more strength so I hope this plan works. So far I have been enjoying it.

So on Sunday I took my daughter to the local university and did the 3 mile loop around campus, plus one extra mile.

It was the longest four mile run I have ever done.

First of all, since I have slacked off on my training, I gained weight and I was pushing a stroller with my almost 3 year old.

It was hot.

My daughter kept dropping things and I kept having to stop and pick them up.

I didn’t want my daughter to fall asleep on the run so I kept her entertained by singing Old MacDonald since we watch OutDaughtered all the time. OutDaughtered is the show about two year old Quintuplets. My daughter refers to the show as “Babies.” All I hear is “I want to watch Babies!” Anyway, there is an episode where they are singing, or supposed to be singing, Old MacDonald in a recital. So my daughter and I sang Old MacDonald and my daughter kept choosing “chicken” so this Old MacDonald had a farm full of chickens. Old MacDonald can thank for me sneaking in one cow and one cat.

My daughter saw one of the Albany city busses and kept saying ice cream truck. I told her it was a city bus, but she wouldn’t believe me. I told her she would disappointed if we went over and tried to order ice cream.

But I made it through the run. I think when I reach the six mile mark on my long runs that I will need to get a babysitter. I can’t be pushing the stroller for 8 miles. I will go nuts.

I was really wanting to get an iced coffee but I decided to stop and let my daughter run around the fountains. She was so happy which made me happy. Life is about the little moments.