It’s a rainy fall day and I usually love rainy days, especially rainy fall days. The dreariness reminds me of when I lived in England. I like the contrast of the brightly covered leaves against the gray sky.
This weather is totally indicitive of my feelings as of late.
The sky represents my losses.
My loss of faith in God.
My loss of faith in the healthcare system.
My loss of identity.
My loss of my future that I planned and the life I was living.
The loss of belonging where I was supposed to be. I was supposed to be a wife, not the odd widow in a group of married friends. My daughter wasn’t supposed to be the kid with a dead father in a class full of kids with two living parents.
But underneath the dreariness is some beauty brought on by all the pain.
I appreciate things more. I am less likely to take things for granted.
I have been keeping a gratitude journal and I decided to do something different in the blog. I decided on Friday to share five things I was thankful for over the past week. Why did I pick the title “Good Vibrations”? That will make sense by the end of the blog post. Trust me.
I am thankful for my daughter. She is amazing and I don’t know how I would have gotten out of bed, especially in the early months if it wasn’t for her. Now I have no choice because she usually comes into my bed and yells “WAKE UP MOMMY!” It is amazing to see her grow and learn every day. She is so independent (“I do myself Mommy”) and she is a little fashionista. I just hope I don’t let her down and that she grows up happy and fulfilled.
I am thankful for Starbucks Nonfat Pumpkin Spice Lattes. I have been counting my macros and even though it uses up a lot of carbs, it is worth it. Because Pumpkin Spice in the Fall is everything. #america #fall
I am thankful for my cat because he is cute and he makes me happy. And I kind of like that he mostly just likes me. It makes me feel special because I am in his world. Or maybe I am only special in his world because I feed him. He really loves me at night because that is when I give him a can of fancy feast. That started out as a treat, but it is turned into every night. Oh well.
4. I am thankful that I live in this country during this time period. I am thankful that information is so easily available and accessible. I am thankful for running water and plumbing. I take for granted that poop will get flushed away. There might be a lot of bad in the world but I am determined to focus on the positive.
5. And last but certainly not least, I am thankful for my tribe. Because they are awesome as demonstrated on my Facebook timeline. Kimmy Gibbler tagged me in a post with a video of Marky Mark from 1991 and all of our friends liked it and/or commented. I love that my friends are not afraid to get silly.
So I am sharing this here. Just in case anyone needs a Friday morning boost. Because if you do not like this song then…I don’t know. I just can’t fathom why anyone would not like this song.