albany – Page 2 – Running Forward…My Way

Recharging: Hiking at Thatcher State Park

Published on August 7, 2017August 7, 2017 by kerrymckim9 Comments

Yesterday morning Kimmy Gibbler asked me if I wanted to go on a hike with the kids to Thatcher State Park. I was game. I had never been to Thatcher State Park but I have always heard it was a lovely place to visit. My local blogging friend Melissa recently visited Thatcher Park and wrote about her trip.

I just had to make an emergency stop at Target to get a pair of sneakers for my daughter because I think I might have left them in Chicago. Once we got a new pair of sneakers, (and some fruit snacks and some juice boxes and some bottles of water) we were ready.

We didn’t hike long or anywhere steep because we had small children with us, but it was still a really fun outing. I look forward to many more!

Do you hike? Where do you like to hike?

So much weekend: New Kids on the Block!

Published on July 11, 2017July 12, 2017 by kerrymckim5 Comments

I am going to get a little Sophia Petrillo on you.

Picture it: Billerica, Massachusetts. 1989. Or 1990 depending on which half of the school year it was.

A young girl sits in her fifth grade class at Eugene C. Vining Elementary School. Her female classmates have a whole bunch of boy band paraphernalia on their desk, including those large pins that you could stand up. Like a picture frame. Her male classmates would snicker and lodge pencils at these large picture pins, trying to knock them down.

This girl thought the boy band was stupid. That girl was me and that band was New Kids on the Block.

I wanted nothing to do with them. I wanted nothing to do with those large stand up pins, or the t-shirts, or the plastic water bottles or the bed sheets.

My mother, who was a Beatles fan back in the day, encouraged me to like them but I wouldn’t give in. In fact, that might have fed into my resolve not to like them. (Sorry Mom!)

So I have no stories about going to their concerts when I was a middle schooler. Because I just didn’t care. I have always had a streak in me that didn’t want to do what was popular. To this day, I have never read a Harry Potter book or seen a Harry Potter movie. So leave it me to be 25 years late for the New Kids Party. But better late than never, right?

My friend had won tickets and four of us went. We were so excited. We had dinner and margaritas at El Miriachi before the show.

Oh no! I admit, I was more excited about seeing Boyz II Men than I was about New Kids but I wasn’t going to let it ruin a great night.

My friend and I joked that Bryon was behind it. Bryon liked Boyz II Men though I wasn’t allowed to talk about it when he was alive. He was embarrassed. Though when we were planning my daughters Baptism, he made me watch the scenes from the Fresh Prince of Bel-air with Nicky’s Christening.

Our daughters Christening was the Sunday of Epiphany and Bryon said it would be cool to get Boyz II Men to come. I didn’t put any more thought into it until a few days later when Bryon says that Boyz II Men won’t be playing at our daughters Christening because they were not in our budget. Leave it to him to actually look into it.

So my friend was saying that because Bryon couldn’t see them, then none of us could.

We will have to catch them next time.

My daughter’s Godmother and I were talking about how my daughter will like some band that doesn’t exist yet and she won’t want to go with us. Because we will embarrass her. Her Godmother’s stepdaughter will probably take her.

And one life lesson: don’t spend too much time on social media during the concert. You might miss the dancer that rips off his shirt. True story.

In the past, I didn’t enjoy my life fully. I never lived in the moment. I was always worried about other things all the time. So I made sure to really just embrace being at the concert with my friends. There may have been some adult beverages.

But being a widow always has some level of sadness. It shows up even at the happiest times. Even though Bryon wouldn’t have gone to this concert if he were alive, I did miss him. I missed the fact that he would have been making fun of me. I missed the fact that I didn’t have him to come home to. I came home all excited and he wasn’t here to listen to my stories.

There is also some level of guilt. Guilt that I am having fun without him. Guilt that I am here to enjoy events like this and he is not.

I carry close to my heart the fact that Bryon embraced life. He didn’t hold back. And when he was in the ICU for five months, he fought. He fought even though he would likely have permanent damage to his body. He wanted to live. So I must continue to live my life fully. I owe it to him.

Mother’s Day Weekend

Published on May 15, 2017 by kerrymckim4 Comments

I had a good weekend. My parents and my friends spoiled me. However, like all the other “firsts” I am feeling lots of emotions, of which I am still sorting out in my head. I am mentally too exhausted to write about them at the moment. I might need to take a day or two to decompress.

However, I would be remiss if I didn’t share photos from our trip to Indian Ladder Farms for Baby Animal Days. The goats, the bunnies and the 4 day old chicks were my daughters favorite.

First Annual Bryon C. McKim Memorial Derby Party

Published on May 8, 2017May 14, 2017 by kerrymckim1 Comment

I have two words to describe Derby Day 2017.

The first word is Epic.

We all came ready to celebrate the two most exciting minutes in sports.

There were old friends enjoying each others company. There were new friendships formed. Lots of laughter, celebration and happiness were in the air.

There were lovely ladies in dresses, hats and fascinators.

There were dapper men in seersucker suits.

Delicious food was served- bourbon meatballs, pulled pork sliders, mini Kentucky hot browns, mint julep chicken skewers and chicken and waffle skewers. Because we all know that food tastes better when it is served on a stick.

Makers Mark Mint Juleps were consumed in special Bryon McKim souvenir cups. So many Mint Juleps were consumed that the bar ran out of Makers Mark two hours into the party. Bryon would be particularly proud of that.

There was a silent auction full of amazing items that were generously donated from members of our community. The silent auction was accompanied by friendly competition to outbid each other.

The second word is Bittersweet.

We were having a great time but we all knew that this party would not be happening if Bryon was still alive. If Bryon were still alive, we would have been having our annual Kentucky Derby party in our backyard. The backyard party would have been at a smaller scale but just as fun.

Ultimately Bryon had to die to bring us all together to have a good time.

As much fun as I had on Derby Day, I would have given it all back if it meant Bryon would still be here. But I think I am reaching the point in my grieving process where I am beginning to accept Bryon’s death as it is. I have days where I still ask “why” but I know that even if I can figure out the “why,” it doesn’t change anything. Bryon will still be dead. And there is nothing that can change that.

We can’t change the fact that Bryon is gone but instead we chose to take a horrible situation and make the best of it. Many people die without leaving their mark (pun not intended) on this world but Bryon made his mark (okay, pun was intended this time) and we made the choice to keep his memory alive. Derby Day had the potential to be a very sad day but instead, we chose to celebrate Bryon’s favorite day of the year. And we celebrated in true Bryon McKim fashion. I am grateful that I had so many amazing people to celebrate Bryon’s life with. We all remember what a difference he made in this world. He helped so many people when he was alive and we chose to continue his legacy and help others in his memory.

I want to thank the Bryon C. McKim Derby Party Planning Committee: Vince Casale, Lynn Krogh, Danielle Grasso, Joseph Hanson, Jennifer Muthig, Mike Utzig, Nick Wilock, Jennifer Armstrong, Mike and Natalie Kosar, Sara Stein and everyone else who assisted in the planning process. I am awe of your talent and you ran this event like a well oiled machine. You could run a small nation. Bryon would be proud.

I want to thank our sponsors for supporting the event and all the business who generously donated items for our silent auction. My daughter and I are very lucky to be part of such a supportive community who looks after their own.

I want to thank Wolff’s Biergarten for all your hospitality and help putting on this event. You were great to work with and made our experience enjoyable.

And I want to thank everyone who came out to support our event to celebrate Bryon’s life and keep his memory alive. One of the biggest fears that a grieving person has is that their loved one will be forgotten. Thank you for reminding me that while Bryon may be dead, he did live.

I look forward to celebrating with you again in 2018.

Bryon C. McKim Memorial Derby Party

Published on May 2, 2017May 2, 2017 by kerrymckim1 Comment

Derby Party 2013

Our first Derby Party was in the tiny townhouse apartment that we rented but that didn’t stop Bryon from wearing his seersucker suit. We had some friends over and crowded into our little living room to watch the Derby on Bryon’s flat screen TV that was too large for our room. We served bourbon meatballs, mini Kentucky hot browns and derby pie and Bryon made Makers Mark Mint Juleps.

Derby Party 2014 and 2015

The next year we had moved to our house and we were able to have a larger party. We still made the bourbon meatballs, mini Kentucky hot browns and derby pie. Bryon bought a little costume for our cat that had a jockey on the back. Our cat hated that costume. Bryon served Makers Mark Mint Juleps and bought an ice crusher that was from the 1980s. I was always so worried he was going to lose a finger in that machine.

Derby Party 2016

Bryon was really excited. He decided that he had had enough of that ice machine and was looking into renting a snow cone machine. It would serve two purposes, make snow cones for the kids and he could use the crushed ice for his mint juleps. He sent out his Facebook invites.

But the Derby Party of 2016 never happened. Bryon was in the ICU. I sat with him all day and watched the Derby coverage but by the time the Derby was on, Bryon was too tired to stay awake. I was so sad that Bryon couldn’t enjoy his favorite day of the year but I told myself that it would be okay. We’d be celebrating with our friends in 2017.

And now it’s 2017 and Bryon is not here.

But the party will go on. Bryon wouldn’t have it any other way.

We will be dressed up. There will be Maker’s Mark Mint Juleps. There will be mini Kentucky Hot Browns and Bourbon meatballs. There will even be chicken and waffle skewers. There will be a silent auction for raise funds for the Bryon C. McKim Foundation and our daughter’s educational trust.

What is the Bryon C. McKim Foundation?

Our friends and I have been working hard to make sure that Bryon’s legacy will stay alive through the Bryon C. McKim Foundation. Bryon helped so many people when he was alive and he was never one to brag about it. When he was in the hospital, people would visit and tell me stories of how he had helped him. Even 8 months after his death, I am still hearing stories from people that he helped.

There is no reason that Bryon shouldn’t still be helping people even if he is no longer with us. By helping people, Bryon’s spirit lives on when we help people.

Through the Bryon C. McKim Foundation, we will establishment scholarships to Siena College and Albany Law School. Bryon was proud of his education and we hope to give that gift to others.

The Bryon C. McKim Foundation also plans to provide patient education to teach patients how to advocate for themselves. However, some patients can’t advocate for themselves. When Bryon went into the ICU, I had to advocate for him right away. It was a scary place to be and I had to learn what to do quickly. The Bryon C. McKim Foundation wants to give people the tools on how to advocate for their loved ones.

Tickets can be purchased at mckimderbyparty.com You can also join the excitement on our Facebook event page. We would appreciate your support in keeping Bryon’s legacy alive and ask that you purchase a ticket even if you are unable to attend.

We hope to see you on Saturday!

So much weekend

Published on April 24, 2017May 14, 2017 by kerrymckim2 Comments

I started this blog as an outlet for my feelings and I have decided that I have been writing about too much depressing stuff lately. My life isn’t all depressing so I decided to share some of my fun moments. I mean, my life won’t always be this depressing, right? My daughter and I had a busy weekend so I thought I would share that.

On Friday evening I had plans to meet some good friends for Mexican food at El Loco. I had gotten a baby sitter for my daughter and I braved the drive to downtown Albany and even found a parking spot. It was great to catch up with my friends.

I was supposed to run the Fly Creek Cider Run 10k this weekend but I dropped a metal trashcan on my toe on Easter. That doesn’t sound like a big deal but my big toenail is blue and I had to wear flip flops all week because it hurt too much to wear regular shoes. By Friday I could wearing shoes was bearable but I decided that it wasn’t the best idea to run the 10k or 5k. I was disappointed because I really was looking forward to this race. I was signed up to run it last year but missed it due to Bryon’s illness. Maybe the third time will be the charm.

There was a rugby tournament at Albany Law School so my daughter and I went for a little bit. My daughter wasn’t that interested but we did walk around the track and even did a little running.

Saturday afternoon was the birthday party of the son of Bryon’s best friend. He is turning 3. They did an amazing job with the Mickey and the Roadster Racers theme. There was also a bounce house and wagon rides.

Reminders that life continues on. It feels good that that we are making happy memories that my daughter and my friends children will grow up with. But, like everything else, it is bittersweet because Bryon isn’t here for those memories.

Sunday was the monthly brunch with my girls. This is turning into my most favorite day of the month. We alternate houses and we each bring something. We had an amazing brunch with Blueberry and Strawberry French Toast Casserole, Goat Cheese and Sundried Tomato Quiche, Vanilla Bread, Sausage, Fruit, cookies, Mimosas and great conversation.

I couldn’t have asked for a better weekend or better company.

If I could have just one more day with you…

Published on March 3, 2017March 3, 2017 by kerrymckimLeave a comment

I have often thought about what we would do if we could just have one more day together. We weren’t expecting you to get sick. There was no way to know when you went into the hospital that you would spend five months there and never leave. What would we have done if we could just have one more day?

Of course, our day will take place in a time that you aren’t sick. I don’t want to spend our day in the ICU. If we could have one more day it would be a Saturday and during a time of the year where you aren’t busy with work. I thought about reliving our wedding day or a day from one of our vacations or Christmas but I decided that while those days were filled with great memories, I miss the non-glamorous memories more. I am also going to be selfish and pretend it’s a Saturday where there are no sporting events. I want my family all to myself.

We would start the day with an activity that you enjoy doing in the morning. To be clear, I like this activity too. Just not in the morning because I am definitely not a morning person. But this would be your special day back so we will do this activity at your preferred time. Amazingly our daughter will sleep in so we can complete this activity without rushing.

Afterwards we will wake up our daughter. She will be so happy to see you. She will jump up and down in her crib and yell “Daddy!” She will know who you are, I promise. She recognizes you in photos. We will let her watch an episode or two of whatever show is on Disney Jr. As long as it isn’t Miles from Tomorrowland because we both don’t understand why Miles has a pet robot ostrich and it pisses us off. But chances are, she will want to watch Elena of Avalor, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse or Doc McStuffins.

You will make coffee your favorite way which is in the French press. I will attempt to make your favorite breakfast which is waffles but you will decide you would rather make them yourself. You will probably use the Mickey Mouse waffle iron that Maddy bought you for her first Christmas. We eat our waffles with real maple syrup because we don’t keep the fake stuff in our house. You put fake butter on your waffles and I put real butter on mine.

As we eat breakfast, we will watch soccer. Your team Chelsea is playing. You put on your Chelsea jersey. You make some rude comments about the other team. You will yell a lot. It could either be joyful or angry depending on how Chelsea is playing.

Many Saturdays, we went to estate sales but it seems silly to spend the day shopping especially since you can’t take any of it with you. Or we could go to Home Depot and you would most likely quote Frank the Tank because that always makes me laugh (“Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we’re going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don’t know, I don’t know if we’ll have enough time.”)

Or we can stay home and watch another soccer game. It’s your choice.

Lunchtime rolls around and you get to pick. You can have a Garbage Plate at McGeary’s or a Buffalo Burger at Swifty’s. We can go have miniature hot dogs. Or we can stay home and make tomato soup with grilled cheese. Whatever you want.

It’s a beautiful day so we take our daughter to the pocket park near our house. You push her in the swing and she loves it. After that we will hang out on our front porch and watch the cars speed down the street. You will put our cat on his harness and leash and call him a dick when he doesn’t want to go outside. The ice cream truck comes and you can’t resist getting our daughter an ice cream. And you get an ice cream for me too.

For dinner, I will make chicken enchiladas because they were your favorite. You liked to add sriracha to them. You were always happy when I made chicken enchiladas. Personally I don’t think the recipe is very authentic but you don’t care.

I know I said I wanted you to myself but I have to share you for a little while because you have a lot of friends who miss you and will want to see you. So we will have a sitter come and we will meet up with friends for Karaoke. And of course you sing some Righteous Brothers “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’” and all of your favorites. You always told me that you wanted to sing “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” as a duet but I always said no because you always made fun of the fact that I can’t sing. So today I will sing that duet with you and you can make fun of me all you want.

This ends up being a fun night. It is great to spend time with our friends. But the night must come to end even thought we don’t want it too. We go home and go to bed and hold each other. I will probably cry because I don’t want our day to end and I don’t want to say good-bye again. But I must. So I give you one last hug and kiss and tell you that I love you one last time. I will be okay because I know that while it’s fun to think about this day, it will never happen. At least I have our memories.

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