One of the biggest obstacles about moving forward is the fear.
Fear? What fear?
Fear of letting go.
Fear of things not going the way I expect.
fear of life feeling empty.
Fear that I will never be understood.
Fear of re-acclimating.
Fear that I will forget.
I have discussed in this blog about how I am currently in what I think of as “Phase III” of my grief journey.
To give a refresher-
Phase I: The first 3-6 months of widowhood. My whole world was shattered and I am trying to figure out what the f*ck just happened to my life. Getting out of bed and showering are a struggle.
Phase II: The period between 3-6 months and about two years. It was the phase where I had to accept that Bryon was gone and I needed to get used to him being gone.
And now I am in Phase III.
Phase III is the phase where I need to move forward with my life.
It’s not just enough to visualize it or talk about it.
I need to do it.
I know I need to do this but there is always something holding me back.
I am excited.
But there are these fears that hold me back.
The fear that if I move forward, then I will have to let go of Bryon. Of course, I will never completely let go but taking those first few steps are the hardest.
The fear to be hopeful because you don’t want to be disappointed.
The fear that my new life will be unfulfilling?
I need to leave these fears in 2018.
If I bring them with me, they will prevent me from achieving my dreams.
So fear much be put on the imaginary Viking Funeral Ship, set on fire and set off.
What fears are you leaving behind in 2018?