Public Service Anouncement: A widow’s rant

You have heard that someone has died.

It makes you sad.

You think about some fond memories with the deceased.

You may want to write about these lovely memories on Facebook and add a picture.

But for the love of all that is Holy, don’t post anything on social media until the next of kin has made the death public.

While the post may come with good intentions, it is actually one of the most disrespectful things you can do to a grieving person.

This is like births and engagements.  The ones who are the most affected get to share the news.

The next of kin, which is usually the spouse, parents, child or sibling of the deceased has a lot of do before the death is made public.  They have to notify all the other family members and close friends of the death.  And if someone posts about the death before it is made public, then those family members and close friends may hear about the death first on Facebook.

How would you feel if you found out about your aunts death on Facebook?

So please, please, please, save your social media condolences until after the next of kin has shared the news.

Your post will be appreciated.  I was worried that I was only going to remember Bryon as he was in the ICU.  Once I made his death public, Facebook was showered with memories and pictures of him.  After spending five months sitting beside him in the ICU, I was instantly reminded that he was a man who was full of life and I was relieved that that was how he was remembered.

Your post will be appreciated.

But please.

Wait until the death has been made public.


7 thoughts on “Public Service Anouncement: A widow’s rant

      1. Funny thing was, it was a good friend. She was grieving the loss of my mother too and I think that made her act in such a thoughtless manner. She probably thought she was reaching out to me and showing support but it made me feel I had to announce Mom’s passing on social media a bit sooner than I was ready for.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I am just curious l, did you ever tell her that and if you did- what was her justification? I just don’t understand how someone can think it’s a good idea to put something so personal in the public eye.


      3. No, I never did. For all her good qualities (and she has so many), she is somewhat lacking in the empathy department – not always, but at times. I understand and accept that about her. It never would have occurred to her that this could be upsetting, I am sure. I was going to post on social media about my mom. My friend’s comment on my page made me feel I had to do this a day earlier than I was planning to.

        Liked by 1 person

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