I have often thought about what we would do if we could just have one more day together. We weren’t expecting you to get sick. There was no way to know when you went into the hospital that you would spend five months there and never leave. What would we have done if we could just have one more day?
Of course, our day will take place in a time that you aren’t sick. I don’t want to spend our day in the ICU. If we could have one more day it would be a Saturday and during a time of the year where you aren’t busy with work. I thought about reliving our wedding day or a day from one of our vacations or Christmas but I decided that while those days were filled with great memories, I miss the non-glamorous memories more. I am also going to be selfish and pretend it’s a Saturday where there are no sporting events. I want my family all to myself.
We would start the day with an activity that you enjoy doing in the morning. To be clear, I like this activity too. Just not in the morning because I am definitely not a morning person. But this would be your special day back so we will do this activity at your preferred time. Amazingly our daughter will sleep in so we can complete this activity without rushing.
Afterwards we will wake up our daughter. She will be so happy to see you. She will jump up and down in her crib and yell “Daddy!” She will know who you are, I promise. She recognizes you in photos. We will let her watch an episode or two of whatever show is on Disney Jr. As long as it isn’t Miles from Tomorrowland because we both don’t understand why Miles has a pet robot ostrich and it pisses us off. But chances are, she will want to watch Elena of Avalor, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse or Doc McStuffins.
You will make coffee your favorite way which is in the French press. I will attempt to make your favorite breakfast which is waffles but you will decide you would rather make them yourself. You will probably use the Mickey Mouse waffle iron that Maddy bought you for her first Christmas. We eat our waffles with real maple syrup because we don’t keep the fake stuff in our house. You put fake butter on your waffles and I put real butter on mine.
As we eat breakfast, we will watch soccer. Your team Chelsea is playing. You put on your Chelsea jersey. You make some rude comments about the other team. You will yell a lot. It could either be joyful or angry depending on how Chelsea is playing.
Many Saturdays, we went to estate sales but it seems silly to spend the day shopping especially since you can’t take any of it with you. Or we could go to Home Depot and you would most likely quote Frank the Tank because that always makes me laugh (“Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we’re going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don’t know, I don’t know if we’ll have enough time.”)
Or we can stay home and watch another soccer game. It’s your choice.
Lunchtime rolls around and you get to pick. You can have a Garbage Plate at McGeary’s or a Buffalo Burger at Swifty’s. We can go have miniature hot dogs. Or we can stay home and make tomato soup with grilled cheese. Whatever you want.
It’s a beautiful day so we take our daughter to the pocket park near our house. You push her in the swing and she loves it. After that we will hang out on our front porch and watch the cars speed down the street. You will put our cat on his harness and leash and call him a dick when he doesn’t want to go outside. The ice cream truck comes and you can’t resist getting our daughter an ice cream. And you get an ice cream for me too.
For dinner, I will make chicken enchiladas because they were your favorite. You liked to add sriracha to them. You were always happy when I made chicken enchiladas. Personally I don’t think the recipe is very authentic but you don’t care.
I know I said I wanted you to myself but I have to share you for a little while because you have a lot of friends who miss you and will want to see you. So we will have a sitter come and we will meet up with friends for Karaoke. And of course you sing some Righteous Brothers “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’” and all of your favorites. You always told me that you wanted to sing “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” as a duet but I always said no because you always made fun of the fact that I can’t sing. So today I will sing that duet with you and you can make fun of me all you want.
This ends up being a fun night. It is great to spend time with our friends. But the night must come to end even thought we don’t want it too. We go home and go to bed and hold each other. I will probably cry because I don’t want our day to end and I don’t want to say good-bye again. But I must. So I give you one last hug and kiss and tell you that I love you one last time. I will be okay because I know that while it’s fun to think about this day, it will never happen. At least I have our memories.
Running Forward...My Way 