August 26, 2016
“Revvin’ up your engine
Listen to her howlin’ roar
Metal under tension
Beggin’ you to touch and go
Highway to the danger zone
Ride into the danger zone”
I walked into the viewing room at the Funeral Home to see Bryon for the last time. Funeral Nick shut the doors behind me. We walked up to the casket. It had been a lengthy and rather difficult process to get Bryon’s body moved from New York City to Albany and Funeral Nick had told me the day before that he did not feel that Bryon was fit for a public viewing. I had decided that was just as well because I wanted everyone to remember the version of Bryon that was full of life, not the sick and lifeless version of Bryon.
He was in his kilt. Next to him were the three items I wanted him buried with: a rosary, a bottle of Maker’s Mark and a Top Gun DVD. And Top Gun was playing on the two TV’s mounted on the wall on both sides of the casket. Just like Bryon wanted. My friends had done a phenomenal job at collecting photos of Bryon for the picture boards and they were displayed all over the room.
Funeral Nick had stayed up late working on his makeup which I thought was very kind of him considering that I would be the only person who would see him. Funeral Nick was quick to cover Bryon’s hands, he didn’t want me to see them. I didn’t question why. I just assumed they were either discolored as they were turning blue during his final hours or that they were puffy because Bryon had a lot of extra fluid in his body or both. Seeing Bryon all caked with makeup reassured me that I was making the right choice by having a closed casket. Caked on funeral makeup was acceptable for my grandparents who lived into their 80’s and 90’s but not on a 30 year old man.
Funeral Nick closed the casket and left me alone to be with Bryon. I went to walk around the room and look at the photos and flowers and I hear Maverick start singing, “You never close your eyes, anymore, when I kiss your lips.” I could feel Bryon’s presence strongly. I think he was trying to make me laugh. He was right with me. I laughed and cried at the same time.
When I had arrived I left my parents, daughter, extended family and close friends were out in the lobby. After I had a good look at each of the picture boards, I told a member of the funeral home staff that it was okay to let them in. They kept me company. The funeral staff was bringing in the flowers that we still being delivered. I remember that my best friend from Maine made sure that there would be no wardrobe malfunctions with my dress while the Top Gun volleyball scene came on. Everyone looked at the picture boards until it was time for our pre-wake ceremony and for the priest to come by.
3pm was the official start of the viewing. I remember that there was a long line of people. I stood next to the casket and my daughter’s Godmother stood next to me. People from so many areas of Bryon’s life came by; coworkers, friends from college and college, friends from politics, friends from some of the various organizations he belonged to, friends of his parents, some of his relatives. I remember that many of my relatives made it in from Boston, Florida and Maine. My best friend and another friend arrived from Chicago. During the procession, there was a break in visiting and my best friend from Maine brought me Wendy’s (perfectly timed) which I quickly ate in a conference room. The visiting hours ran from 3 pm to 8pm and it the line of people slowed down at times but never completely stopped.
I had gone to Target the day before and I bought a doll, a doll stroller and a Doc McStuffins doctors kit for my daughter to play with. She is a trooper when it comes to having her around people but I wanted her to have some toys to play with. And I wanted these toys to be a novelty so they had to be new. My friends and my family all took turns playing with her. I was greeting people and everyone made sure that I did not need to worry. I remember a few times I would look around and not see her but someone always reassured me that she was being watched by someone.
So many people came to pay their respects for Bryon to our family and many friends stayed the whole evening. I know the visiting hours were long but to be truthful, the whole night was a blur, a whirlwind. After the visiting hours ended, a staff member of the funeral home sat down with my daughter’s Godmother and me and we discussed logistics for the next day and what to do with flowers.
It was late but a large group of friends went out after for dinner. The group was comprised of close friends from different areas of our life; college, politics, local and out of town. I needed the company and to hear the stories about Bryon. It was late and it was a big day tomorrow.