Fairy tales don’t exist.

I recently bought my daughter a Disney Princess CD for the car.

Yeah…they still make CD’s. I was kind of surprised too. This was good news because whatever part of the brain that understands technology…well mine is stuck in the 1990s.

Actually that is only half true. I embrace modern technology.

I just need other people to set it up for me.

And I need for it to work all the time for me.

And if it doesn’t, I need other people to fix it form me.

So yeah.

My daughter and I have been listening to a Disney Princess CD.

Actually we have only been listening to two songs.

The first is Rapunzel and “When will my life begin.”

Poor Rapunzel. I know what it’s like to feel like I am waiting for my life to begin. Except I am trapped in a tower of my own making and that doesn’t compare to her abuse.

The other sing we were listening to was the Little Mermaid.

As we listened to Ariel, my daughter knowingly says “Ariel is sad because of a boy.”

I was shocked at my 3 and a half year old daughters insight.

She already has something figured out that I didn’t figure out until high school.

I said “Yes…boys have a tendency to do that to us…lots of boys will make you sad…then one day you find the one that doesn’t make you sad…and then you will be happy…well as long as he doesn’t die…”

I am pretty sure my daughter stopped listening to me once I said she was correct. But with her you never know. She doesn’t seem to miss anything. She’s smart.

Last week I talked about how Jerry McGuire and the whole “You complete me” thing is a lie but I also decided that I no longer believe in fairy tales.

Life is never what it seems.

Like, seriously.

Ariel likes a guy. She has to jump through hoops to get him to notice her. I mean, it’s one thing to dress pretty and have open body language but to give your voice to a sea witch seems a bit excessive to me.

Ariel, honey, it’s not supposed to be THAT hard.

And it’s not good enough that she jumps through all these hoops, she has to completely change her life to be with Eric. Eric isn’t putting in any effort.

Seriously Eric. You need to appreciate what this girl has done for you.

The movie ends with Eric and Ariel having a wedding cruise and Ariel is wearing the dress that she said yes too. Interestingly enough, she did not go with a mermaid style dress. Her family is swimming in the ocean which is probably the etiquette equivalent of putting your family at Table 22 or something.

So Ariel is almost completely isolated from her family. I don’t remember seeing Eric’s parents but what if they aren’t nice? Not all people have loving and supportive in-laws. (I plead the fifth!) Needless to say, this could be problematic for Ariel.

So isolated from family…unknown in law situation…what if Ariel pops out a kid or two or twelve and then Eric has a simple elective surgery that gives him sepsis and he dies? And Ariel’s family can’t help because they are mermaids and live in the water.

I don’t think Ariel has thought this through.

Even though she wants to “part of Eric’s world” (whatever that means) she clearly showed signs of confusion when I saw her at Disney on Ice last year.